Guest Blogger: Cara Sutra
Cara Sutra is a multi award-winning adult writer and marketer, writing sex tips, sex toy reviews and other features at CaraSutra.co.uk as well as on behalf of adult industry press and clientele.
2014 saw the launch of her Fantasy by Cara Sutra Beginner’s Bondage Kit and 2015 has seen her collaborate with Emily Dubberley to organise and host Erotic World Book Day.
She looks forward to attending the erotic event of the year, Sexhibition, in Manchester UK this August.
Oral sex. What does that phrase conjure up in your imagination? Whether it’s having your cock sucked or your pussy licked, most people love a bit of oral sex – well, receiving it, anyway. But how about reciprocating some of that tantalising tongue-love?
Reactions to the thought of providing oral sex for a lover range from nonchalance or an “if I have to” attitude to genuine concern about ‘getting it right’. Knowing just how much of a turn-on receiving oral sex is usually enough to spur a person into researching the best way to deliver the same level of sensational magic.
A lover once told me that if giving oral sex makes you ache (in a bad way), then you’re not doing it right. You need to relax and take your time. This stuck with me and through the years I have discovered plenty of other techniques and mindsets which can make oral sex even more pleasurable for both partners. Let’s explore some top tips to help you give your lover(s) an oral sex session that they’ll never forget.
Make sure you’re comfortable before you begin, and that your lover is in the best position for them too. It’s also worth bearing in mind that if you really don’t like giving oral sex, don’t do it. Lack of enthusiasm is a major passion killer, and it’s better to use your hands, a sex toy or engage in another sex act completely rather than force yourself to give an unenthusiastic oral session.
If you’re nervous about receiving oral, start by sharing a sexy shower or bath with your lover. Feeling confident in your cleanliness will help you relax more. Similarly, squeaky-clean personal hygiene on a day to day basis will see your lover more ready to go down on you.
Brush through your pubic hair – if you have any – before receiving oral. It’ll remove loose hairs and stop them getting stuck in your lover’s throat. If you’re the one giving oral sex, don’t panic if you do get a hair stuck in your throat. You don’t have to take a break or make it a big issue – simply spit it out. The wetter the better with oral, after all.
Bodily fluids are affected by what we eat and drink. If yours taste funky, and you are sure you don’t have any STIs, avoid garlic, alcohol and other strong-tasting foods. If you’re in any doubt about whether you have an STI, get tested as soon as possible. A bad smell or taste can be a sign something is wrong. Drinking pineapple juice is often touted as a miraculous way to make semen taste good and it certainly seems to do the trick. Add ‘drink a glass of pineapple juice’ to your day’s to-do list and you’ll reap the rewards – as will your partner. Eating plenty of fresh fruit in general is great too.
Using a flavoured lubricant is a popular way to disguise any difficult to deal with scents and tastes during oral sex. Be careful though. Many flavoured lubricants include glycerine, a sugar which can trigger yeast infections, UTIs or other feminine irritations by affecting the natural pH levels of a woman’s vagina. One of my favourite flavoured lubricants which doesn’t pose this worry is Sliquid, as their lubricants are not only vegan-friendly and paraben free but also completely free of vaginal irritating sugar such as glycerine.
Take your time and enjoy exploring your lover with an inquisitive tongue. Pay attention to their body language (do they arch their hips towards you? Lie rigid? Read their body as well as their moans and signs of desire). Don’t forget to use your hands too: oral doesn’t mean only oral. Manual masturbation teamed with delicate flicks of the tongue, slow suction or whatever else you’ve discovered your lover enjoys is likely to add to your lover’s pleasure. If you do decide to use your fingers as well as your tongue, make sure your fingernails are clean and smoothly rounded before you begin. Sharp nails can snag and cause discomfort to your lover, ruining that special moment.
Emily Dubberley is the founder of Cliterati.co.uk and has edited/written 30 books including the . Most recently, she originated the idea for Erotic World Book Day and co-edited the associated charity fundraising erotica anthology with Rebecca Black. Emily had this to say about oral sex:
Give your partner permission to be silent and simply enjoy themselves. There’s a story in our sex ed fundraising anthology, An Intimate Education, called On the Job Training at The Boxes by Helen J Perry & Adria Kane. Set in the future, it includes cunnilingus devices described as follows: “For less than the price of a good lunch you can simply lie back and enjoy.” This fantasy very much reflects reality for a lot of people: pressure to have orgasm can make it less likely to happen and moans and groans, while nice and a good feedback loop, can sometimes make it harder to climax (of course, sometimes they make it easier too – everyone is different) Tell your partner to stay silent throughout and all their energy will be focussed on their pleasure. If you’re both into kink, you may want to add punishment if your lover makes a sound…
Keeping the above tips in mind and putting them into practice before your next cunnilingus or fellatio session will make sure you’re in the very best frame of mind to both give and receive oral sex. Remember: hygiene, comfort, safety, relaxation. They are the four cornerstones of truly unforgettable and enjoyable oral sex, whether you’re giving or receiving.
